Dizzy, Miss Lizzy...Stage 5: Saint-Quentin to Saint-Dizier.

Sometimes you just can't get a tune out of your head...step forward the Pre-Fab Four with their cover of...

'Help', did someone say? Could've done with some oomph for the first half of today's wander...it was a trudge with some indifferent road surfaces, although still Le Gallic courtesy extended to wheezing cyclists is a source of wonder. Does their highway code say that they should/must give two-wheeled loons a 1.5m birth or something?

Whatever the case, on at least two occasions today I saw the guy overtaking me go so wide that he woke up the poor sod in the oncoming lane!

Two clicks too close for me. Move away...

Great to see Dave at The Winchester getting his dues.

I saw further reminders of The Great War, including a huge French graveyard. Brings you up short.

Saw a couple of more memorials along the way.

This one marks French 'fallen'.

I went through Reims about lunchtime: looks like an interesting town and not just because it is the world hq of shampoo.

Reims cathedral...good work!

Of course the countryside around Reims was full of fantastic looking vineyards and loads of producers trying to tempt you in...keep moving son, there's nothing for you here.

Apt. Bouzy on the Champagne trail?

I was very pleased to eventually see a village bar open: it was like a ghost town pretty much every where that I rode through...great for zero traffic but not great when you need water. Another note: say 'bidons', not 'bottles'. He was a cyclist so he was onside, hah-hah!

You expect France to be warm in July- it was a reminder of how the wall of heat from the tarmac just warms the cockles sometimes. Fair enough.

Cannondale's 2015 Sagan model released to the public. He probably still could wheelie it. Uphill. No hands.

Don't worry, hundreds of wee bast**d flies were harmed during this photo.

Took some finding but it was a tres pleasant final few miles to Saint-Dizier.

Tonight's acco is cheap and colourful. Let's leave it there. Early departure? We head south tomorrow, beginning the three hardest days...keep your fingers crossed. Cheers!

STAGE CINQ MAPS & STATS!

While we're here, and I know that I say this quite a bit, but a massive thank you to you generous types who have donated to these causes. Good on you. You know that I'm busting my balls out there at times, so it's really appreciated.

I will give £10 for every £50 that you do. Aside from that, there is one other thing that would help, if you can do it...please share this blog and/or the JG links with your pals/acquaintances/enemies.

Cheers!

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A Boy Named Sue....Stage 4: Calais to Saint-Quentin.

I know that it is Bastille Day but with the destination in mind, there's only one artist who's featuring here tonight!

Although my acco in Calais appeared er, rustic, it was the best night's sleep in ages. Their wi-fi worked and the room's telly showed Allemagne netting me £90 courtesy of the work's sweepstake. Suckers, haw-haw!

Breakfast served to your room: bacon & eggs must be hiding.

On departure, the proprietor asked me where I was headed: the eyes always give it away. Her phrase was "...but that's many kilometres?" but she was really saying, "give it up- you've no chance. Btw, can you lend me £90?".

Here's my own Le Tricolour to celebrate Bastille Day: factor 30 has been applied. Retrospectively.

(Clean) socks are so last season.

Suffered the by-now anticipated nav-pfaff: getting sent down paths more suited to MTBs etc...saw this fantastic looking tower while I swore at Calais & Garmin & my own inepitude...

Eventually I got away on what looked like a decent track: the worst I had all day was a crosswind, so that is massive!

This'll do nicely.

I didn't realise that it was Bastille Day until I happened across this band: they had a few veterans amongst their audience too. Funny how things dovetail sometimes.

Routemasters shouldn't have this indignity forced upon them!

Yesterday you told me left, now it's right. Make up your mind!

This fellow was having a ball: he was cycling away, talking loudly, "Oh, aren't you being a good boy? You're so quiet back there!" to all and sundry.

This was a rolling terrain: I effing hate it...either give us a big climb or not, but make your effing mind up, hah-hah! I went for a re-route which would shave 10 miles off the distance but add 1000' to the climbing. Regardless, I was mightily chuffed when a proper cyclist coming the opposite direction downhill shouted at me, "Courage! Courage!". It's the little things that give you a gee-up, isn't it?

Funky water tower.

Need to have a word with my PR people. This isn't working!

Sheer class. And ferme!

You couldn't fail to be aware that this was the ground where so many people were killed and injured in the Great War that began 100 years ago. As I made progress through Arras and beyond, it was a bit chilling to look at the corn and wheat fields and imagine the horrors that went before.

The French haven't forgotten either: far from it and I saw a few Union Flags flown alongside Le Tricolour. I even got a little applause and a few shouts thanks to the RBL cycling jersey as I rolled on through a couple of villages.

It still means something around these parts.

It wasn't until I stopped at one of the memorials that you begin to have an idea of the scale: there were churches along the route with military graveyards. All in immaculate order. 

Back on the road again and an amazed to see more lunatic 'Town Twining'...

Peronne = Ewood Park?

Followed by more memorials to Canadian and Australian forces, plus the occasional road-reminder:

The final 10 miles were a blast through ridiculously lovely roads...prior to wasting 20 minures looking for the flamin' Ibis!

...however, nothing beats the taste of this number! An outrageously excellent brew, and thoroughly deserved. Well, a bit... 

Probably the best cider in the world. Certainly felt like it, hah-hah!

                              Click here for BASTILLE DAY NOMBRES!

While we're here, and I know that I say this quite a bit, but a massive thank you to you generous types who have donated to these causes. Good on you.

I will give £10 for every £50 that you do. Aside from that, there is one other thing that would help, if you can do it...please share this blog and/or the JG links with your pals/acquaintances/enemies.

Cheers!

To support CANCER RESEARCH UK please click on this...thanks!

To help the The ROYAL BRITISH LEGION please click on this!

Exodus...Stage 3: R.A.H to Dover.

Struggled to think of anything more apt for today's mission to allez to Calais! Actually, stuff apt...it's a great tune anytime!

Must admit that I could have slept on a bit this morning but the lure of an Imperial College metrically-measured out Full English (Full? You're having a laugh!) was simply too great to resist...

No sign of Liz.

Mind you, today was a rest day really, and I am on holiday so bollocks to it...a-sauntering it will be! Actually it was a struggle getting set on the right course out of London, seeing as how a load of charity do-gooder types were generally disrupting the traffic. They make my blood boil...

I did get to ride down The Mall which is something that I have wanted to do for ever. Must admit that that is a bit sad really, although I almost managed to wing a couple of tourists too...

Mine. All mine.

Just missing Alan Beresford B'Stard MP.

I was the only cyclist on the A2 for the whole day, at least until about 5 miles from Dover. Like yesterday, Gawd bless The Romans: no muss, no fuss...let's go!

Garden? You sure? To be fair I did see a Dobbies later on.

No. Me neither.

The holiday theme continued when I met up with my sister and her entourage just outside Canterbury (a big thank you to Sue for a superbly generous donation!) for a pub lunch. This is what cycling should be like, hah-hah!

A big old thank you to Claire for Sunday lunch. I could've stayed a while longer!

Timed it right: a biblical David Gower ,followed by the water evaporating.

Hang on, we're leaving the country now: a bit late in the day to be telling me?

The only cyclist that I saw all day. Keep rolling, brother...

This left only 20 miles to Dover and those famous white cliffs. It never ceases to amaze just how many people (nevermind freight) to and fro between the UK and Yerup. Good to see.

There is nothing not to like in this photo!

My arse.

"They'll be bluebirds over the P&O terminal..."

Belgique headbangers/chartered surveyors.

So here ends a lazy Sunday, watching the WC final with commentary en francais. Still miles better than Townsend & Tyldesley, hah-hah!. Malarkey awaits tomorrow...see you then!

Gotta say, top grub onboard P & O's finest. Cheers!

While we're here, and I know that I say this quite a bit, but a massive thank you to you generous types who have donated to these causes. Good on you!

LAZY SUNDAY STATS...CLICK HERE!

I will give £10 for every £50 that you do. Aside from that, there is one other thing that would help, if you can do it...please share this blog and/or the JG links with your pals/acquaintances/enemies.

Cheers!

To support CANCER RESEARCH UK please click on this...thanks!

To help the The ROYAL BRITISH LEGION please click on this!

What have The Romans ever done for us? Stage 2: Rugeley to the R.A.H.

Here at last! Blogness ahoy...

Still quality. I salud their arrow-straight roads...that's what! On with the tale of the day...

A welcome full English and wagons roll for day 2...weather is already fantastic! I don't think that I'll be cycling on roads like this for too much longer...

Sorta wakes you up when some loon comes steaming down the track.

Call it a coincidence or serendipity or blind ignorance, but I had no clue that the RBL's National Memorial Arboretum was close at hand. Unfortunately I had zero time to spare to visit it.

Some other time, I hope.

Well, it is the 12th day of July.

The initial plan (yeah, I'm as surprised as you that the merest semblance of any planning might have gone into this) was to be met by Andy and also Martin, who would've been coming up from the south coast to RV. In the event neither of these shirkers weighed-in. Disgrace. Nah, child care/family cobblers ranks slightly above being given a shoeing on the A5! I don't have kids but even I was trying to think of an excuse myself...

I elected to ride the A5 because it would shave 10 miles off the day: I knew that it is a fast road but I had no problems from either HGVs or civilians.

Always a welcome sign when your destination is under a ton to go!

Keep moving. There's nothing to see here.

It was certainly a tad warm at times: between 75-85F...Evian & Volvic did a steady trade, as did Yahoo chocolate milk. That's living alright!

HGV.

A slight navigational pfaff let me see this nonsnese in a village called Crick. No, really.

And to think that I used to watch that cobblers...

From the A5 it was onto the Watling Road and then the interminable rumble/crawl through London to tonight's cosmopolitan acco in Imperial College. Pretty close to one of my favourite venues too...

A unique venue. Just don't get thirsty!

I wish that I had the energy to go to Hyde Park to see Neil Young but it just ain't a go-er. With any luck I may be able to hear the old curmudgeon! Sleep well...I know that I will. Cheers!

                                   DAY TWO'S ROMAN NUMERALS!

I will give £10 for every £50 that you do. Aside from that, there is one other thing that would help, if you can do it...please share this blog and/or the JG links with your pals/acquaintances/enemies.

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Werewolves Of London...Stage 1: Warton to Rugeley.

Yeah, yeah...title song doesn't have today's destination but if you have ever seen 'An American Werewolf In London' then it might click...either way, this is a belter! I can't recommend Zevon highly enough.

Wagons roll at 1100...a very early departure made possible by the kettle-phobic Tony Eason, who was kind enough to come in early to cover for me. Greatly appreciated, mate. Mind you, he probably left early too, ahem...

Usual nause of trying to work your way down through sunny Lancashire (no, really it was super weather) against dodgy surfaces, traffic lights and death-wish pedestrians. Mind you, if you lived in Wigan...

Sorry George, I'm sticking with the Pre-Fab Four 

The perennial Curse Of Wigan struck again with a puncture just south of the place: hope that it's my last one for a while. Just before that my sunglasses pretty much fell in half. Mind you, we weren't talking Oakleys here, hah-hah!

It ain't really some poor sod's driveway. Honest.

All ok after that if a little slow but that's alright in Friday rush-hour traffic. Gotta love the ingenuity of this Heath Robinson toll:

Plus I didn't have to cough up. Result!

Stoke was another highlight as ever: although it did provide a worthwhile inspiration to get a wiggle on and get to tonight's acco!

Once traffic died down it was pretty nice on the run in to Rugeley...

To be fair, I was ready to climb off the bike when 'The Shoulder' was in sight...it really is a locals' number, hence a couple of double-takes when this lycra monstrosity strode in. Maybe it was that unique and indescribable aroma too, hah-hah!
Actually a very hospitable number with good grub and ale so no dramas.

To be fair, there aren't any moors around here to keep clear of!

Alright then, that's it for stage one...safely does it. Big, bad day tomorrow but all being well, I'll waste some band-width posting more nonsense. Bet on it...cheers!

TODAY'S STATS BROUGHT TO YOU BY CAPT. SLOW!

I will give £10 for every £50 that you do. Aside from that, there is one other thing that would help, if you can do it...please share this blog and/or the JG links with your pals/acquaintances/enemies.

Cheers!

To support CANCER RESEARCH UK please click on this...thanks!

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